• Marriage: The myths, the sentiments.

    Posted on February 26, 2012 by in Straight from the heart


    This write-up will probably send shivers down the spine of many because the word “marriage’ is involved. It will leave many more disturbed because I have chosen to write again. Bear with me please! Recent events have made writing this inevitable and you’d probably understand when you are done with reading my piece.

    I recently swam through the pains that malaria bouts bring and behold!, my experience was a blessing in disguise. My ‘new status’ brought forth the need to see a doctor and after the confirmation of the illness had been made, my experience at room 6 of a popular Lagos Hospital began.

    There, I did not have too many visitors but my friends within kept me lightened-up all through. One time of worthy note, three single nurses in their early thirties(Nurses Nike, Nkechi and Betty (not real names)) stood just by the veranda of my floor (by my door) and their long discussion aroused me.

    They obviously had 3 different opinions on who ‘Mr Right’ should be. After eavesdropping for few minutes, it was easy for me to understand what raised the issue; Nike had bumped into an old male classmate of hers few years ago and now it was beginning to look like they were heading for the altar. Her problem however was the fact that many of her female friends (who were in that class but still single) felt it was a wrong move. Issues like ‘the ability of the guy to take care of her, if she would respect him’, etc were raised by different opinionated groups.

    Nkechi and Beatrice also rode along with the different school of thoughts after hearing Nike’s story about Dipo- her prince charming. Their conclusions? ‘It’s a NO for us’! Hear Nkechi: “Na see finish na, which eye e wan take see U sef? (He won’t respect you). Beatrice seemed to stress more on the fact Dipo just got a job and may not be able to take care of ‘her needs’ immediately; in her words “Baby, I no fit lower my standard for any man o…”(I can’t lower my standards for any man).

    Just as Nike was rounding-off their discussion by saying; ” well, make I try c if I fit post am small till ‘better option’ come”, I had to quickly figure out a way to drag them all to my room and take a look at ‘the damsels who are too hot to handle’. “Hmmmnnn….what better way than moan and ring the bell next to me?” I thought.

    Couple of moans and the sound of a bell after, all three rushed in; they had been too engrossed in their discussion to know that only one of them was needed. With my intentions achieved, I sank into my thoughts, puzzled and bewildered. My conclusions? It’s true what they say: “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”.

    Few hours later, room 6 became history; gone with the bouts of malaria that brought us together. Yet, the memories wouldn’t just fade away. To think (that for reasons best known to me) that I hoped that my decision to drop my pen few years ago with a strict vow never to pick it up again was a final one, room 6 flashed the picture straight at me; ‘some vows are easier made than kept’.

    The experience however, left me thinking: “how does one know how and when to take that leap and get married?”


    – Aval Anche

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  7. Ekenenna Ugwumba says:

    I didn’t feel any shivers down my spine. I think taking the leap is a personal thing. What are ur desires for ur future. How do you want to spend d rest of ur days and who do u want to leave a legacy behind for after u pass to d afterlife? These are questions that shape one’s need for marriage, aside from falling and being in love with someone. Those Nurses were only being typical.

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